Since I was a teen, I’ve made infrequent use of the expression “You don’t get a second chance to make a good first impression.” There are so many things in life that you don’t get to do over, no matter how bad you’d like to, or how deserving of a second chance you feel yourself to be.
I grew up in a fatherless household. My mother bore the full burden of raising me and my siblings. Today, every cell of my being wants to scribble-over my family legacy, and put things on a better path for my children. My goal is to be the present and involved father that I lacked.
With my children starting school soon, I have been forced to think about their education, and their rearing in general. You don’t get a second chance at raising your sons and daughters. You get one shot to do it as best you can. You get one shot to raise them well, so that when they’re grown they’ll have a solid foundation upon which to build the rest of their life.
Being sober to this fact can put you on an emotional roller-coaster. There are nights where I put my children to bed, an reflect on the missed opportunities of the day. Moments in which I could have taught them something―anything. Not simply for the sake of teaching, but for the sake of showing them that I am here, and that I love them.
I don’t have much to say tonight. Writing this short post has me frequently pausing in thought, failing to feed the cursor on my screen. Today is over. The day is done.
While I may not get a do over for today, I do have tomorrow (for now), and that is the next best thing. I just need to keep reminding myself: no second chances, no second chances.